My son sleeps in the shower. Now I know you’re thinking, ‘well everybody nods in the shower…we’re tired and a few seconds of zzzz’s is nothing’. But that’s not what I mean. He SLEEPS in the fucking shower. Like for an hour or more. He curls up in the bottom of the shower and goes beddy bye…you know, night night...; He comes out looking like a white prune, with his skin all shriveled and wrinkled and says something like, “Oh, forgot to wash”, and then will go back in for another hour or two. The kid is retarded.
When he was very young and slept in the shower, I would spend long hours explaining that he was single-handedly destroying the environment. That it was his fault there were fresh water shortages and that he was killing all the fish. He would look at me with those big brown eyes, brimming with tears and quietly say, “That’s frigging awesome Dad!” And then take a two hour shower.
You’d think I’d run out of hot water or something…but I had a 1200 gallon tank installed many years ago when I noticed there was never any water left for me when I woke up. I’m fed up with this crap…and I’m always the one stuck taking his soaking wet pillow out of there.
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