Shit Happens & Other Recipes

Thanksgiving dinner

I told you my mother-in-law treats me differently than the rest of the family; here is the proof. She told me she had a special turkey sandwich for me... It was special...and kinda tasty:

Corey directs his first movie

Very short film Corey took of Matthew trying to qualify for 'Jackass'.... funny.

Download first_test_movie.wmv

Small film

This is a riot....

Download Judgement3.wmv

Fashion model misses the entire point of a corsage…

Quick quiz:

This woman…

a) Thought the Republicans would keep the Senate, and consequently lost a huge election bet…
b) Traded the family cow for some magic beans, and the rest is history…
c)  Was naive enough to take advice from some mean girls in the bathroom at her prom, but will spend her life getting even with them, just like in a horror movie…

d) Is upset because she originally planted daisey's

Add this to the recipe in the last post

Barbie's dog is full of it

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

With his chiselled looks and nippy little sports car, we always suspected Ken might be full of it – but now Barbie has gone and got herself a dog that's gone the same way too.

The latest Barbie accessory is her pet dog, called Tanner, which not only looks like a loveable labrador but also poops like one too.

Almost a soon as Barbie has fed the dog its biscuit treats, a little something comes out the other end.

But, in a move designed to encourage responsible dog ownership, toy manufacturer Mattel has provided Barbie with a pooper scooper and bin too, meaning Tanner never has to leave any unwanted 'gifts' lying about on the carpet.

Tanner also comes equipped with dog toys, a bone, biscuit treats, a feeding bowl and a pink lead.

And, just in case that does not get the message across, Mattel has produced a promotional video of Barbie and Tanner playing in the park that shows you how to 'potty train' your dog.

So while Barbie may have seemed like the girl who had everything – including great clothes, cool cars, fabulous horses and no end of accessories – now we know what she was missing.

Would you like ketchup with that shit?

I had to laugh today as I was checking my visitor stats…(still no visitors), there was a link from someone who had an MSN search on ‘Shit Recipes’.

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And my web site came up like 5^th:

·         Shit Happens & Other Recipes: Shit Happens

What’s up with handicapped people riding those little electric carts at places like Home Depot and Lowes? When I began verbally abusing a woman in a cart for speedily crossing from Hardware to Paint ...

o        www.mickeykaye.com/shit_happens_other_recipe/2006/10/shit_happens.html

o        · Cached page

So I have to ask myself, why would anyone want a recipe for making shit? Can they not figure it out for themselves? Who are they serving it to? Is it okay for a Sunday brunch, as well as a formal dinner? Do you serve red or white wine with shit? And is it possible that everything tastes better on a Ritz?

I really wish the visitor stats area left information on who was looking and not just a referring web site. I would like to question the person who ran that search.

In any case, I’m offering my own recipe (after hours in the kitchen, two ducolax and some unsuspecting taste testers). Enjoy!

Shit Recipe

½ cup of shit

¼ cup of diarrhea

¼ cup dried shit flakes

In mom’s favorite bowl combine shit and diarrhea. Add shit flakes to desired consistency.

Refrigerate, freeze, bake, broil, boil or serve fresh.

Serves 4 very sick fucks.

Mercury Transits the Sun

Mercury is transiting the solar disk today! Make sure you have a good set of binoculars to watch it!

From Astronomy Pic of the Day

Seaches

Every now and then I check my visitor stats to see if anyone reads these posts…no one does, but I get several Google, Yahoo and MSN searches that point people here (for whatever reason). They come from all over the world and I get about 2-3 each day. These are from yesterday and today: (I apologize for the formatting…Typepad is fucking up)…

From

Portugal

– “mother-in-law law”

Shit Happens & Other Recipes

Mother in Law Law. They don’t call them mother-in-laws for nothing. Here are a few of my MIL’s laws….:. Never leave an open drink container out. ...

From

France

- narcissus in chains+penis:

Shit Happens & Other Recipes - [ Traduire cette page ]

... K Hamilton : Nightshade Tavern (Obsidian Butterfly & Narcissus in Chains) ... Spirit completes a diagram of an erect human penis on the planet's dusty ... mickeykaye.com/ - 51k - En cache - Pages similaires

US – “narcissus masturbation” from currently reading

US - deepest apologies:

·         Shit Happens & Other Recipes: Deepest apologies

I apologize to my readership, (all 3 of you), for not posting these last few days. I've been crazy busy and hope to catch up today. While you're waiting, sit back, relax...have a piece of gum and hum ...

o        www.mickeykaye.com/shit_happens_other

_recipe/2006/10/deepest_apologi.html

Leave it to the Onion

Politicians Sweep Midterm Elections. After months of aggressive campaigning and with nearly 99 percent of ballots ... Shit Happens & Other Recipes - http://www.mickeykaye.com/shit_happens_other_recipe/

Britain

– “painted my dog…”

Many, many searches that started on Corey’s or Ethan’s blog. 

A gift for the little lady?

Tesco condemned for selling pole dancing toy

by COLIN FERNANDEZ Last updated at 23:13pm on 24th October 2006

Mother of two Karen Gallimore was searching for Christmas gifts for her two daughters, Laura 10, and Sarah, 11, when she came across the 'toy'

Tesco has been forced to remove a pole-dancing kit from the toys and games section of its website after it was accused of "destroying children's innocence".

The Tesco Direct site advertises the kit with the words, "Unleash the sex kitten inside...simply extend the Peekaboo pole inside the tube, slip on the sexy tunes and away you go!

"Soon you'll be flaunting it to the world and earning a fortune in Peekaboo Dance Dollars".

Reverse donut?

What the fuck is a ‘reverse donut’? All I know is that my son got a $100 ticket and 3 points on his driving record for doing them. He also gets: 1) a smack in the head; 2) a suspension of driving privileges (yes Corey…still to come); 3) a tattoo on his forehead that says, ‘schmuck’; 4) I’ll think of something else.

What’s wrong with kids today? Why can’t they be content with listening to 45’s and drinking cherry cokes at the 5 & dime? Let them play stick ball, hand ball, wire ball, box ball, step ball, wall ball…go play some ball. You want to do a reverse donut? Fine. Grab your 10 speed and go to the school yard…do them to your hearts content. Another ticket will get your license suspended…and that is hard ball.