Mother in Law Law

They don’t call them mother-in-laws for nothing. Here are a few of my MIL’s laws….:

1. Never leave an open drink container out. Someone will drop drugs into it or steal it. Of course, some of you are hoping someone will drop drugs in it.

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2. If you have a refrigerator in the garage, never put food in it. Some one will steal the food. Never mind the tools, toys, and thousands of other things…they want the food. People are starving here in the U.S.

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3. If you must drive at all, never drive at night. People will steal you…and…

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4. Always leave at least a ¼ mile between your car and the car in front of you.

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5. Always stop at a light, even if it’s green. It will eventually turn red and you don’t want to get caught in the middle. Also slow down at least a ½ mile before the light or stop sign.

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6. Don’t run in the snow. Don’t walk in the snow. Don’t go out if it’s snowing… as a matter of fact don’t go out period. Someone will steal you.

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7. Never travel. Ever.

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8. During an electrical storm, never talk on the phone, run anything electrical, or talk loudly. Shut off the main power supply, go in the basement and tap Morse code, ‘SOS’ on the pipes. Wait for help.
9. If you must eat out, ask for bread and stuff as much of it as you can in your pocket book.

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   There are so many more. If my wife doesn’t divorce me after this post, I’ll write the rest of them.